WWHF

When words have failed
Silence is all we need
Just take a deep breath in the moment
You'll feel the euphoria
Of the air dancing in nothingness

The grass, knowing no one recognizes 'em
But they're keep attached to each other
Knowing nothing could ever kill 'em
As long as their roots keep binding to each other
Oh the euphoria

As long as the sun's keep rising
Just us; you, me, and them
Knowing we're undone
When words have failed
Silence will break the ice

The Lost Souls

Amazing how a love story could have a wonderful effect and the most long lasting perhaps to me, than any sermons or proverbs would have. Just thought I'd share the link with you here. Geez, I cried the whole way.

The man is just someone who is too good to be true. You will all wonder why a guy so good gotta leave so soon? Imma take a raincheck on answering that one. It's been a mystery to me since 2004, since I watched right in front of my own face a good guy passed away so quickly and peacefully.

It all came clear. The ticket to heaven can't be bought, it is GIVEN. All the lost souls, all the souls we've mourned, He summoned them for a reason: He just gave them the ticket. They have deserved it.

We all have purposes. Some have figured it all out, some haven't. But He has hinted the way for us to live, LOVE. Hate belongs to demons only. I know it's hard not to hate, I hate, often times. But isn't the way to something good is always the hardest? Live your best. Never think about tomorrow, cause everything will fall into place, one thing after another. Everything will be beautiful at His time, not yours. Don't force it. Godspeed.

But Really

They'd say I'm a dreamer
but really, I just like to dream

They'd say I'm a thinker
but really, thinkin is all I do

They'd say I'm moody
but really, moods are what animate me

They'd say I'm old-man wise
but really, that's cause I think too much

They'd say I'm a singer
but really, they haven't heard my real voice

They'd say I'm an actor
but really, that's the wall I've built for all past years

They'd say I'm a poet
but really, I'm a woman of too much words

They'd say I'm the life of the parties
but really, I feel dead in them

They'd say I'm a lover
but really, love is all I have to offer

Is there any such thing?

Soo...I've been thinking about this. By this, I mean this blog. This another junk on this empty space called internet. It's title. Hanny in real life. Me. In. Real. Life.

Gosh, what was I thinking when I chose that url. Suddenly it sounds so corny and cheap. Oops no offense Dan in Real Life, I love the movie, but who would want to read bunch of craps of pages about ME in REAL LIFE, huh? Even I don't.

I'm thinking of changing this blog's url into something a little simpler, and really defines me, and no, it's not banci gembrot. I don't know, maybe you can help me think of something cool nyahahaha.

As a last goodbye to the name "Hanny in Real Life", Imma describe me in real life. Okay the real me in real life is nothing sweet. I'm an angry bitter little girl. Lately I feel like I'm losing my 'emotions bud' (if there's any such term). I don't feel sad, happy, worried, nor anything. Nothing. I've been faking emotions the whole time. It's not that I don't have any emotions at all... I mean I do feel things, but lately I've always faked 'em in front of people. All I am lately is bitter.

I feel like I've been pretending to befriends, to act all nice, to the people I don't really want to befriends with or act nice to. And some of those people doesn't even deserve it. They're good people. So the question is maybe, 'what the heck is up with me?'. Was it cause of I lost my dog a couple weeks ago? But I didn't feel anything about it either. I mean I was sad, and I miss Shiro sooo badly. But the sadness didn't dominate me. I am at a point where I don't really care if anybody gets hurt as long as it's not me who gets hurt. I'm like the old space theory by Copernicus, the center of the universe is earth and every other things just rotate around it. Wrong on so many levels.

I started to feel like a superhuman, like nothing could get through me. Was it cause I've gone past my labil times a looong looong time ago? I know I have, but where the hell did all my emotions have gone?? And aside from the fact that I'm typing it, I don't even care for the fact that I'm emotionless.

Geez I really should start get away from these people. I can't stand be around them. They're just straight ass annoying and one of them doesn't even realize it and always think my cranky face whenever she's around was not caused by her. Dude, it's you dude. Nothing else. Nobody else. You. Annoy. Me.

I used to worshipped realness. I loath fakeness. But now I'm becoming what I loath. And it's making me angry. There is nothing worse than being angry at yourself. Okaaaaay enough rantiiinnng. This has been too emo, too much emo is never good for anyone.

So the change is going to happen effective immediatly. Hahha, I haven't even decided what the new url yet. So, until then, Godspeed.

In the end of a cranky week like this

Call me a bitch. Yes indeed, I am. I talk about people, whether it's a compliment or an insult, directly or indirectly, I say what I think is right.
Rule one, if in the end it turns out I was wrong, I'd apologize and go in peace. But if I'm right....there ain't no way I'm giving up on it.
Rule two, I don't care if the person I talk about is somehow in others' opinion, whether slightly or much more, better than me, I'd still talk about her/him. And you could only get that DILLIGAF look from me. You're entitled to your opinion and so am I. And if you try to infiltrate me with your stupid rasionalisation on what you believe is right, while I know it's wrong, Imma ignore you cause arguing with a fool makes it two.
Now you get what I mean when I said "call me a bitch" right? Yea. Godspeed.

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