Saturday, June 27, 2009
"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. -Erica Jong-"
EVERYTHING IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE. Love has surely made everything cracked up. Let's not talk about the cheesy love between a boy and a girl, or a boy with a boy, or even a girl with a girl. Those are just too overrated. One's love for position and power has made one sold all one's assets for a so-called kampanye, and finally one ended up broke, crazy, in another word, cracked up. In the name of one's love for God, one sacrificed one's life and OTHERS as well, so abruptly, it even hurt a greater amount of other people as well. All for the sake of religion, for one's love for religion.
For one's love towards someone, one even dares to confront and insult one's God, saying such shallow things such as, "I don't think He really loves me cause He has always given me boyfriends with different religions." COME ON?
You may ask, does love really that destructive? Well don't assume too quickly. As destructive as it is, you will find a lot of definitions of love. My favorite definitions of love is the one in Dan in Real Life. "Love is not a feeling, it's an ability." It strucked me right ahead. It's "How much can you love someone?", not "How much do you love someone?"
One of the most classic love quotes is the one from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongdoing. It does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves. There is nothing love cannot face; There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance. In a word, there are three things that last forever: Faith, hope, and love; But the greatest of them all is love."
There there, my two favorite love quotes. The others are just boring, cliche, or bullshits.
So, sometimes, I just get really tired, really bored of people, including myself, asking about what love is, asking where the love is, screw all that! When you feel something, just go for it! No, no, lemme correct that, when you feel something to someone, just follow your urge, whether to love them or hate them or thrill them. Cause love is not something you feel, it's something you do. That's why we say "I Love You", it's a verb! Yeah!
Got tired already. Godspeed.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Ibu (I): Oi.. tadi siang makan apaaa?
A: Ayam penyet..♥ Enak banget maaa, aku kangen banget deh sama sekolah..Taon depan aku mau SP ah! ♥
I: Sini..sini..mama juga kangen sama Anak..Anak kalo liburan di atas terus sih..
A: (baru hendak menyahut)
I: (suara si M pun mulai mengawali acara debat capres, ibu mengangkat tangan menyuruh anak diam) Hah...mampus deh dia...jawaban ga nyambung sama pertanyaannya..abis deh nih dia kali ini...Mampus..
♥ baca: keadaan anak sedang high akibat menghirup udara Depok terlalu banyak.
Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love: You have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Yak. Leadernya 2NE1, CL. I'm like, a huge fan. Hahaha. Yea yea yea so, gue cuma pasang foto itu sebentar sekitar 1 jam lah. Kemudian saat gue liat facebook, lalu berangkat ngepost award dari Rere, lalu kembali ke facebook lagi, itu kira-kira hanya membutuhkan waktu sekitar 10 menit. Saat kembali lagi ke facebook, ternyata sudah ada 11 notification baru, gue pun tercengang. Pas dibuka..jeng jeng..isinya notification dari "Are You Interested?" semua. Anjing.
Sebelas notification yang isinya "Someone clicked YES on you on "Are You Interested?" dan masih terus bertambah seiring gue membuka satu persatu foto orang-orang yang mengklik "YES" (this means, "YES" I wanna fuck you because you are such a cute Asian) on the so-called "Bernardine Stefani." Haha.
The Real Bernardine "CL" Stefani. Bhakahkakhakhak.
Okay I got 3 awards from Rere!! Yay!! Well, sebenernya gatau sih tiga-tiganya buat gue apa bukan..apa cuma satu doang....heheheh pengennya sih tiga-tiganya...haha but whatever anyway, thanks Rere! Big smooch for yah!
Jorge: I love you.
Valerie: I love you so much.
Dexter: I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer me honestly, understand? No more bullshit. How long have you been married?
Valerie: Twelve years.
Dexter: How do you love each other? You're like me, you make it work. how?
Jorge: We want the same life.
Valerie: We want the same thing
Dexter: You share the same dream?
The Castillos: Yes that's it.
Dexter: That's, uh, helpful. Thank you.
WE SHARE THE SAME DREAM. Yeah rock on. Godspeed.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Because deep down all we really need in the end of the day is someone who we can be comfortable with in those awkward silences. Who doesn't need to ask if you're fine, he KNOWS you're not fine. Who tries to do nothing to fix you, but to "face you the reality of your powerlessness".
Friday, June 19, 2009
Last but not least, 2NE1!! They're so cool, I almost regret taking the China major. Really, one of a kind. No fav here, they're all my favourites.
I could have linked all their sites and videos on youtube..cause I have, like, favorited all their videos there on my account... <---LOOOSEEERRR
But I will leave the fun to you, and let you search them for yourselves. It'll be like digging for treasures. Haha. Peace out.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
So, there are a few reasons why I don't like going out.
1. I'm tired of getting dressed up, trying to look nice and all. If it's legal, I would wear my sandal t-shirt paired with my gram's batik sarong to the mall.
2. I hate being caught walking alone by the people I know. That's why I hate Puri Mall. The pressure is on baby. I really wouldn't go there, unless I'm with someone.
3. The view I see outside as I sit nicely in the car, I hate it. It makes me feel spoiled, selfish, useless, weak, totally clueless. I feel like I can't do nothing to fix what I see outside the window. At the same time, it makes me feel totally grateful to be where I am right now, which leads me back to feel selfish.
People tell us to get out from our Comfort Zone. But if we don't even know where our Comfort Zone is, how can we find the way out? People say that on the other side the grass is greener. Well, not for me. I see no grass outside, just one deserted space, waiting to be taken care of.
I know I'm SUPPOSED to be all like "I gotta do something to change this," "I can do something to fix this," but that's not what I really feel. I feel helpless, really. People say I'm optimistic, but apparently I just am when it comes to the things I'm experted in, and most of them don't really need helluva skill. Maybe someday a hero will come along, or maybe the concept of ONE hero is just too absurd, maybe the truth is we need more than one to survive. Gosh, how I long to watch Heroes season 3 and Dexter season 3. Godspeed.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Gue bukan tipe orang yang menggilai seleb sedemikian rupa sampai tahu tanggal lahirnya atau warna favoritnya dan sebagainya, tapi I really adore Natalie Portman. Jarang sekali ada aktris yang keren dan unik seperti dia. Waktu itu di TV, ada iklan Project Runway season 3 dan ada si Natalie yang klipnya dimasukin ke iklan itu. Dia lagi ngomong "You're my favourite show", aw aw aw keliatan "manusia" banget! Bukan maksud gue dia selalu terlihat seperti iblis atau binatang, bukan, tapi ya lucu aja. Keliatan imuuuuuuuuuuttt gitu (oke, gue mulai terdengar seperti lesbian).
So if you're looking for someone to idolize right now, make the right choice, pick NATALIE PORTMAN, calon kita nomor 5 dari Sumatera Utara! (another desperate attempt to joke)
Jangan sampai salah pilih. Hahaha.
"Going to a party, for me, is as much a learning experience as, you know, sitting in a lecture."
"I don't love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful."
"I remember how to be a person by being around them."
"I speak fluent Hebrew and even dream in Hebrew when we visit there, once or twice a year."
"I think school is so much harder than real life. People are so much more accepting when they are adults."
"I'm always on the phone because I'm usually not with the people I want to be with."
"If you're an actress or a musician, everyone thinks you're hot."
"Ninety per cent of how you learn is watching great people. When you are surrounded by good actors it lifts your performance."
"Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women."
"When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want your pet to be."
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Ternyata menghabiskan lima hari di dalam kamar rumah sakit, dengan satu-satunya hiburan hanyalah televisi kabel, memberikan dampak yang agak buruk. I've lost my sense of direction, I've lost my night sight, and I've lost my spider sense. Oke, forgive my desperate attempt to joke. But, seriously, selama lima hari terakhir itu yang bisa gue tonton hanyalah saluran-saluran tv lokal yang berisi sampah infotainment dan sinetron (tapi aku suka sampaaahhh gyaaaaaa!), dan saluran-saluran tv kabel seperti hbo, espn, dan travel & living. Bukan berarti jelek juga sih. It's been ages since the last time I spent my days watching tv shows. I'm not a big fan on tv. Unless it's on video mode, you know, to play the dvd. Gue udah lupa sama sekali rasanya menonton tv. Perasaan bahwa lo sedang berada di dunia luar sana tanpa harus benar-benar pergi ke luar, perasaan bahwa lo adalah putri raja di kamar lo, perasaan seakan-akan lo adalah makhluk tercool sedunia, semua itu adalah efek tv terhadap lo bukan? Bukan? Oke? Cuma terhadap gue doang? Oke.
Selama lima hari, di HBO, gue udah nonton Fracture, The Mask of Zorro, Erin Brockovich, Shrek the Third, Baby Mama, The Spiderwick Chronicles. Nongkrongin Travel & Living sambil makan Oreo, berkhayal bahwa itu adalah Creme Brulee ala Francais. Gak sengaja nonton Scripps National Spelling Bee Contest (The final is on ESPN, sunday June 14th at 2.00 pm!! I am sooooo
The Mask of Zorro ternyata keren ye. Hahaha. Pengen dah punya bibir kayak Catherine Zeta Jones. Lentik-lentik gimanaaaa gitu. Terus yang pasti gue nyesel dulu pas gue umur 10 tahunan, emak gue gak pindah ke Amerika terus nyuruh anaknya ikutan Spelling Bee Contest. Seru banget coy. Nonton Spelling Bee Contest, gue serasa kembali ke masa kanak-kanak di mana semuanya serba kompetitif dan licik. Hahahaha. Dulu kalo maen monopoli, adaaaa aje yang berantem. Sip dah, masa kecil memang paling berharga jika dilewatkan dengan banyak permusuhan dan cekcok antar anak ingusan.
Mantengin Travel & Living setengah harian pun tidak membuat keadaan lebih baik. Gue selalu dibayang-bayangi oleh telur-telur yang dikocok dengan terigu dan gula, minyak-minyak yang digoreng, bunyi bawang yang ditumis...S#!%! Bisa-bisa diet gatot nih!
Mulai berpikir bahwa wanita itu hanyalah objek semata (yang selebihnya akan gue bahas di kesempatan berikutnya). Memutuskan bahwa John Krasinski adalah idola baru gue setelah beberapa kali melihatnya di The Office dan License to Wed.
Oke sekian. GBU. <--- mencoba untuk menjadi manusia yang lebih baik dengan menyebarkan salam damai pada setiap akhir percakapan atau tulisan.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Apakah sayang yang kamu miliki sekarang untuk keluargamu benar-benar sayang yang tulus karena jasa-jasa yang telah mereka berikan kepadamu sejak kamu kecil, benar-benar murni karena dalam hidupmu mereka adalah orang-orang yang paling luar biasa, atau hanya karena sekadar timbal balik, sebuah pakaian sosial yang kamu kenakan demi diterima oleh komunitas? Demi tidak dicemooh oleh komunitas?
Menurutku, cinta dalam keluarga adalah cinta Philia, cinta timbal balik, memberi dan menerima. Bukan cinta Agape seperti yang selama ini dikoar-koarkan oleh buku-buku teks. Bahkan di sela-sela siang kosongnya, seorang ibu yang mengakui akan melakukan apa saja demi anak-anaknya yang tercinta, masih sempat-sempatnya bertanya dan mengungkapkan fakta "Apa yang anak-anakku punya tak pernah aku nikmati, inikah balasan mereka setelah aku berhasil membesarkan mereka sehingga menjadi sukses seperti sekarang ini? Di mana rasa balas budi mereka?."
Aku tahu cinta Agape itu ada di suatu tempat, nyata, dia hinggap di tempat-tempat yang jarang kujumpai. Aku telah disentuh olehnya. Nyata, berakhir dengan sangat cepat. Dan kami pun berpisah di suatu persimpangan, yang membuatku kehilangan jejaknya. And, no, if you think this is about a boy, kamu salah besar. Mungkin aku butuh ahli pencari jejak, semacam Dora dalam penjelajahan cinta, untuk membantuku kembali menemukannya.
Apakah ini krisis awal baya? Apakah ini fakta yang menunggu untuk disebarkan? Atau apakah ini hanya kedurhakaan yang berkedok akal sehat? Tapi apa yang kamu dan aku tahu? Cinta itu kadang-kadang tak ada logika kok. Godspeed.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Gue laper. Terbayang paha atas KFC yang sedang duduk dengan setia di meja makan. Tapi ingat ini semua demi pernikahan abang gue. Ya SEMUANYA demi (dan karena) pernikahan abang gue. Gue sampe tereak-tereak ke nyokap gue, terbersit pikiran-pikiran nerakawi, semua gara2 itu.
Hey, it's not that I'm not happy that finally my only brother is going to settle. Trust me, I am fucking happy to know that finally my house will be one mouth less to feed. Then I could probably get the braces I have been longing for a long time. Shit, yeah so here I am tonight, bare, naked, nude, whatever you want to call it, I AM ALL OUT. This post is all about the devil in me. Devil literally, IBLIS. Yeah come out come out wherever you are iblis. Take me over.
Gue selalu berpikir bahwa konsep "Jika surga dan neraka tak pernah ada, masihkah kau bersujud padanya" itu sangat keren. Bagi orang religius yang radikal, dan/atau mereka-mereka yang tidak pernah mendengar kutipan Socrates "An unexamined life is a life not worth living", teori ini mungkin adalah sampah, yang harus dilenyapkan. Tapi bagi orang-orang beriman sekuat istana di atas pasir seperti gue ini, teori itu amat sangat menggoncang dan meluluhkan jiwa kami *shit, can I be anymore lebay?*.
Masalahnya adalah: SIAPA COBA YANG TAHU SURGA ATAU NERAKA ITU ADA ATAU NGGA?. So mankind spend their whole life GUESSING. Yeap that's right. You, I, they, she, he, we are all guessing right now. Apakah surga itu ada? Atau hanyalah sebuah teori supaya masyarakat hidup tertib? Akuilah, jika surga dan neraka itu ga ada, apa iya lo masih berbuat apa yang selama ini lo perbuat demi jaminan surga? Apa iya lo masih BERAGAMA? The thing is, we are so obsessed with this stuff, because ya itu tadi, ga ada yang tahu apakah afterlife itu ada atau ngga.
Semua bacotan gue di atas membawa gue ke teori baru sotoi gue yang sebenarnya pengen gue bahas malam ini, yaituuuuu........JIKA DIA BUKAN ORANGTUAMU APAKAH KAMU MASIH MENYAYANGINYA. No, no, it's not that I hate my mom, I fuckin love her. But sometimes she just really gets on my nerves. But aren't all mothers like that? One minute you love them to death, the next minute you want to rip their head off? Oh, ok, no, just mine? Mungkin lebih baik gue berhenti sekarang sebelum gue berbuat lebih banyak dosa lagi. Wait...see?? see??? Gue cuma takut berbuat/berpikiran jahat, karena gue takut neraka! Bukan karena kecintaan gue akan firman Allah!! Yeaaaahh! Somebody please get me out of the dark T_T
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Since I can't get any decent job to make my 3 months holiday worthwhile, I decided to take my language skill to the next level: Offering translation service to desperate college students. Yeah they (actually there's only been 2 persons so far hahaha) would send their assignments via email to me, and I will reply with the translation. I charge them Rp.40/word. Do you think that's too much? I don't pretty effing care actually. All I care about is money money money money..MONEY!! (Ikutin lagu The Apprentice). So far, I have received Rp50000 for my "grandeur" work.
I really don't feel like doing anything this first week of holiday. I just would like to bunk up on my bed, surfing around the cyber world, and not take a bath. Seriously, I would only take a bath if someone's coming over.
I'm going through a diet program, which I hope will finally work. Please God, I beg you, buat aku cantik (nyolong kalimat Randu). Alasan gue berdiet kali ini sih cuma satu, kawinan abang gue bulan Agustus nanti. Puhliss, if there were no weddings at all from the beginning, I would spend this holiday eating pork ribs everyday (Gue mau kasitau bahwa ini cuma lelucon, just in case ga ada yang sadar. Geez who would eat pork ribs EVERYDAY.....?
I am in love..again. No, no, not love, it is more like an old crush and it's coming back all over again to haunt me. It feels good. I hope it will lasts. Not like the one before. I don't desire a compliicated past. I want a love that lasts. Ok han, cukup, sebelum gue kena masalah copyright lebih baik gue berhenti mengquote lagu di sini.
Manohara is back to Indonesia!!!!! I can't believe God was generous enough to create such a beautiful living creature, dan juga cukup tega untuk menciptakan makhluk lain yang beda 180 derajat dari Manohara secara fisik. (no, not me *me*)
And I swear, I CRIED watching her interview on SCTV news. Fuck. What kind of person is that Sultan of Klantan?? Manohara sepertinya bukan orang yang pecicilan, dan gue gatau ini , mungkin dia terpaksa menjadi dewasa karena keadaan. If it were me, who has gone through such traumatic events, and I were asked by the media, what was my message to my abusive husband, I wouldn't say "I'm asking you to not ever do this again, please please please don't find another victim. I don't want anybody out there experienced what I have gone through."
If it were me, I would say, "FUCK YOU! Let's meet on the fucking court and I will fuucking tear you uuupp!!! Oh yeas I wouuullldd! You are sooooooo deeeaaaaddd Fuckry!"
Okay. Mungkin itu sebabnya kenapa bukan gue yang dinikahi si Tengku Muhammad "Laknat" Fakhry?
So as a fellow student, I would like to say happy (and useful) holiday to all of you. Let's make something out of this holiday. Instead of just being a rotten couch potato, you can find a job for this holiday. And maybe if you have find some, inform me, 'kay? Peace, love, and 9403L.