The View Outside

Okay..so the itch went away =D Sorry for freaking out.

So, there are a few reasons why I don't like going out.

1. I'm tired of getting dressed up, trying to look nice and all. If it's legal, I would wear my sandal t-shirt paired with my gram's batik sarong to the mall.

2. I hate being caught walking alone by the people I know. That's why I hate Puri Mall. The pressure is on baby. I really wouldn't go there, unless I'm with someone.

3. The view I see outside as I sit nicely in the car, I hate it. It makes me feel spoiled, selfish, useless, weak, totally clueless. I feel like I can't do nothing to fix what I see outside the window. At the same time, it makes me feel totally grateful to be where I am right now, which leads me back to feel selfish.

People tell us to get out from our Comfort Zone. But if we don't even know where our Comfort Zone is, how can we find the way out? People say that on the other side the grass is greener. Well, not for me. I see no grass outside, just one deserted space, waiting to be taken care of.

I know I'm SUPPOSED to be all like "I gotta do something to change this," "I can do something to fix this," but that's not what I really feel. I feel helpless, really. People say I'm optimistic, but apparently I just am when it comes to the things I'm experted in, and most of them don't really need helluva skill. Maybe someday a hero will come along, or maybe the concept of ONE hero is just too absurd, maybe the truth is we need more than one to survive. Gosh, how I long to watch Heroes season 3 and Dexter season 3. Godspeed.