Random Rants and The Fear

I am EFFING SICK of doing the same old things the whole week.
Monday-Tuesday: Wake up at 6.00 am. Go to classes. Walking half-heartedly. Go home. Waiting for Friday.
Wednesday-Thursday: Wake up at 07.00 am. Go to effing Chinese classes. Walking, still, half-heartedly. Go home. Waiting for Friday.
Friday: Wake up at 06.00 am. Mood sometimes combined between "TGIF!" or "What? It's friday already? Where the hell has my rest of the week gone?." Walk to classes empty-heartedly. Go home, pack, waiting for deborah xderes bus to come and get me.
Friday night-Sunday: Online 24 hours. Moan when it's time to go back to Depok.

I need a breakthrough. I need booze. Anything. Or I might kill myself, or kill others, and at my funeral they would say "She was a quiet girl, what happened?."

I'm just really bored. Feels like I will be trapped in this age forever. It kinda scares and petrifies me. Have you ever got this feeling where you pity yourself and feels like you can never break free? I feel that when I attend family gatherings...being spoiled and pampered by my mom..
And sometimes I also strucked in a moment where I think, "What the heck am I doing???."
Why in hell I'm studying this stupid Chinese grammar, ancient China history, and most of all, why the heck am I doing memorizing all these non-sense Chinese characters???
Huh?? I often struck and think, yeah, WHAT AM I REALLY DOING RIGHT NOW? Is it useful? What is it for? What is my purpose in life? Who am I? Is Julia Perez really hooking up with Gaston Castano????

Hell, I really need a booze right now. In high school, I had him. He was my booze. Now? None.
The only thing that helps me get through the week is the thought of friday. Haha. But even when friday arrives, the feelings gone and replaced by the thought of monday. Haaarrrrgghhh.

My highlight of this weekend is watching Marley and Me. I think there's nothing I can say about this movie other than: IT'S TO WATCH FOR. You know when you love someone and you can't answer when people ask you why you love him/her? Yes it's the same as my feelings towards Marley and Me. You'll get heartchill and heartburn at the same time when you watch the movie.

And now I still don't know what I am going to do. I'm going to watch Fast and Furious with Alex and Beth2 this evening. Let's see. Godspeed.